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Origins (ABUNDANT SPOILERS!)

Fri May 1, 2009, 9:50 PM
  • Mood: Outraged
  • Watching: Wolverine: Origins
  • Drinking: Whiskey
First off, may I say this movie was far more disappointing than I could have anticipated. Here be the down-an'-dirty review.

As I feared, (though not to the extent warranted in the end,) casting beyond Jackman and Monaghan generally sucked. I was, thankfully, proven wrong about Liev - he pulled off Sabretooth well, even as a younger version of X1-X3 Sabes. Unfortunately, this didn't begin to account for the fact Dog/Victor's storyline was nonexistent, aka gutted, aka not even so much as nailed to its perch. 'Tis an ex-storyline.

Of all the things rumoured to be in this new, all-encompassing journey, the only bit that was really put in was the guest appearance by - guess who - Wolvie's One True Love Interest, Scott Summers. At least my Jackman-fawning-over-Marsden theory still holds the ring of truth via tribute to his character. :hmm:
BUT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO JAPAN?!?!?!?!?!?!? Interview after interview saw Jackman promising us the inclusion of "the Japan connection," and you'd think there would be at least some MENTION of Madripoor, but no! We got Canada, Three-Mile Isle, and a quick peek at Africa that didn't even have anything to do with Storm or other mutants based in that area.

The entirety of Wolvie lore, as far as this movie is concerned, hath been squished down to a limp, withered account of the adamantium bonding process and Wolvie's daddy issues. The ending wasn't even an ending; how anticlimactic was that adamantium-bullet ploy?

--
Stryker: If all else fails, my fallback will be these shiny, pointy adamantium bullets! After all, everyone knows adamantium is indestructible, even to adamantium itself. He won't remember a thing!

Audience: Heh. Poor, deluded fool. We've seen this before. Bullet hits skull, we count to sixty seconds, bullet pops out again. Almighty Wolvie is fine, with barely a dent to the ego.

*Stryker shoots Wolvie, futilely adding one extra ka-pow for good measure*

Audience: Here it comes! Our hero shall prevail so we can see what REALLY happened once those scientists got their hands on him!

Wolvie: Who am I? Why do you have a stick? Am I supposed to feel mournful over this chick dying? Am I a chick, too?

Audience: HOW. THE. HELL. DID THIS. MAKE IT OFF THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR?

*Credits start rolling*

Audience: *commits hari-kari with various bladed movie-replica props*
--

... Aside from a few highlights (Mr. Jackman's two glorious minutes of arse-flashing, the sparse clips of our strangely un-beaked Hobbit Mr. Monaghan, and Remy getting elbowed unconscious mid-sentence), it really wasn't worth the price of the ticket.
The gratuitious ass-shots and killer CGI made the movie. Without those, there is nothing to call a movie. Just a big, steaming pile of mutant DNA-driven cameos and comic-book-wannabe punchlines.

X3 was gold compared to this. Which is really painful for me to say, seeing as I had so much faith in Mr. Jackman's abilities if given a larger role in production. :slamhead:

So much more could have happened to give it plot... Instead of being killed, Beak, Johnny, and the others could have been taken back and messed with, maybe mutating Monaghan's character further so he would have the wings and beak. Wolvie could have then fought or saved them. An offscreen death for Mrs. Howlett, or, at the VERY least, an explanation about who Thomas Logan was and that he was a mutant gene carrier. Something from the days in the Yukon mining camp to help flesh out the Sabes/Wolvie past. The real, horrific, well-known story of Logan's transformation into Weapon X? (I.E, as detailed in the comics and in books such as the one by Marc Cerasini)
And, um, Silverfox? Helloooo? Where'd ya go, lady? (I know, the faked death was meant to be symbolic of hers, but there's still not much of the Native American, nature-connection thing, either, besides calling him an animal.)

One thing that fans had asked for after X1-X3 was to see Wolvie's true full-blown berserker rages. Well, they got it. Two long freaking hours of it in state-of-the-art CGI, and not much else.

:crying: Even as a pilot episode for a TV series, that would've sucked unless there was gonna be a Part II.

I go now to drown my sorrows in whiskey and Star Trek.
----

But hey, Tac, at least we've got a hell of a lot of slash material out of this. Wolvie buck naked in a barn, lost and huddled in a horse stall certainly counts for something. *sigh* :(

Devious Comments

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:iconangelwolfsfire:
Good point-I do recall that Stryker told Wolverine that once adamantium hardened, nothing could destroy it. So that didn't exactly make sense. There probably is a more logical way to explain his memory loss...give me a couple days and I'll have it figured out. I get bored and think these things through (I did it for Van Helsing, I'd do for Wolverine, too XD)

But the streaking was much appreciated. :D

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I am Kate Beckinsale in dA's Celebrities Crew!
I am Carl in Van Helsing!
:iconbabywolverine:
In the comics and most lore books, there was a seperate procedure with some sort of brainwashing machine, plus conditioning and implanted memories and stuff. Really complicated, with an appropriate amount of angst. A long ordeal, not a simple "pull a trigger and be done with it" thing.

:drool: Once the DVD comes out, I admit I might just buy it for the sole purpose of freeze-framing to see if more is visible than I caught watching in the theatre.

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:woohoo: I am Alexander Siddig in dA's Celebrities Crew!
:iconangelwolfsfire:
Ah...I'll have to look into that. It sounds interesting, plus my friend and I will need it for our fanfic...

Hmm, good idea, good idea ^^ I'd like to see if there's anything more I could catch, naughty me XD

--
I am Kate Beckinsale in dA's Celebrities Crew!
I am Carl in Van Helsing!
:iconbabywolverine:
The book "Weapon X" by Marc Cerasini gets really technical. He did his research before writing it. :nod: Good reference for fics.

:XD:

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:woohoo: I am Alexander Siddig in dA's Celebrities Crew!
:iconspazticarwen:
nothing after credits? that sucks!

yeah, blob was rather sandleresque
:iconcrazyhobbitgirl:
yeah, you'll have to get to them before they are deleted!

--
"Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good." -The Doctor

~Team-Edward-N-Jacob
♥We need to stick up for both, Cuz no one else will!♥
:iconpadfoot1011:
uhhh... teleport guy... can't remember his name :/

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~ This World has Nothing for Me ~

*you are not your deviantart.

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